Tonight and Fear?

So I finally let my friend Raven convince me to go to New City Suberbs and it was ok... the music good... the people interesting... I was doing ok... then it got busy and Raven kept taking off to see his friends and such (which was ok) and I started to feel clausterphobic and paranoid again... maybe this is why I haven't gone to any dance clubs since I moved here? I hate crowds and people... its all I can do to go to work... its all I can do to speak to people... I need to get over it... I know I do but its just so damn hard... I'm finding myself drawn deeper and deeper into my own world... it's not healthy and I'm sure I could overcome it if I just knew how... I suppose it would also help if I got over this damn problem of not believing people are sincere when they complement me... after all I know I'm not pretty and I know I am ugly but people always contradict me in that sense... I am learning though... when they pay me a compliment I have started to say thank you and leave it at that after all people hate it when you argue with them when they pay you a compliment... well thats all for now will write later